Fatshion Blog

Long ago I had an idea. This idea was to create a safe-haven where fat people could learn the folly of their poor dressing ways. The idea was predicated on the belief that behaving and presenting yourself in certain ways dictates success, happiness and public perceptions both good and bad. This idea, and this idea alone, has lead to the creation of the Fatshion Blog. Learn to maximize your potential in life by maximizing others' perceptions of you.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Power Suits, Power Ties, Power Naps, Power Lies...

Business and formal wear can be the saving grace of a fat man. With a nice suit, shirt and tie, almost anyone can look successful and confident. To make it as easy as possible, let's talk about jackets, shirts & ties, and pants.

While there seem to be so many choices when it comes to suit fabrics and cuts, these are such simple items that it seems unfair to those who don't understand it yet. First, if you own a double breasted suit coat, burn it. Double breasted jackets are, without a doubt, the jacket equivalent of a silk shirt--under no circumstance should one ever be worn by a fat person. Single breasted jackets should always be three buttons, unless the wearer is below 5'8" in height. Jackets with no vent, a single vent or side vents are all acceptable, but well made side vent jackets allow for easy pocket access and less bunching while sitting. If your wardrobe consists of fewer than three suits, you should purchase black, charcoal or navy, but don't be afraid of really distinctive pinstripes. If you're going to have few suits, make them worth while. As a standard rule, you should spend around 2 weeks' salary on your suits.

Shirts and ties are probably where the most gamble takes place. There is a fine line between cutting edge and simply falling off the edge. The key with shirts and ties is not to skimp. Rather than having 12 shirts and 14 ties of low quality, a person would be far better served having 5 custom shirts and 7 ties. Tab collars and collars of a nontraditional nature should be avoided in order to stray away from an ethnic look, and a patterned shirt with a wide spread collar and french cuffs provides a cutting edge, european look. At present, trendy ties are ones that measure at least 3.5 inches across at their widest point, and wide ties always allow you to make good sized, more semetrical knots. Many shorter people may utilize a full windsor knot, however for taller or more rounded people, I recommend a prince albert knot. The prince albert seems to thin out the face because it is a slightly more slinder knot, but it also allows for the best possible dimples just below the knot. Lastly, the tip of the tie should always extend just beyond the top of the waste line. While it's trendy to wear wide ties resting short around the navel, this fashion forward look is absolutely detrimental to anyone with a gut.

Pants are relatively simple. Even with a suit, plain front pants are always the way to go. Pleats, especially while sitting, can lead to a bunched up, cluttered look, while plain front pants can provide a smooth, more modern look. Plain front pants should be hemmed with no cuff at the bottom.

General rules of thumb include the following. On a three button suit, you should only button the middle or top two buttons--never the bottom one. On a two button suit, you should button the top button but never the bottom. When wearing a suit, shirt and tie, only two of the three should be patterened. Having all three with patterns can have a very jumbled effect. As simple as it may sound, you should never have your suit buttoned while sitting, and always wear a belt. Fat people should never wear suspenders or bowties under any circumstance, and sweater vests should be worn with the utmost discretion.

If you follow those few simple rules, you'll probably look forward to getting dressed up like you never have before. In any work or social setting, always try to dress and carry yourself 2-3 positions higher than you already are. As long as you take the early steps to preparing your wardrobe for a high fashion look, you can always look your best, and this will allow others to think the best about you.

Friday, March 10, 2006

More Than Meets the Eye...

As with many things in life, that which seems to be the most simple is often that which is most overlooked. The crux of Fatshion hinges upon a person's ability to lay down a good foundation. If you can't get this part down, you might as well cease every effort you're making beyond this. Upon this item, streamline looks can be achieved or disaster can ensue. It is the ubiquitous garb that many consider an afterthought, but here at Fatshion, we know that the undershirt sets the proverbial stage for everything you wear. The benefits of a perfect undershirt are numerous, and the detriments of a poor undershirt are just as strong.

The perfect undershirt consists of the perfect combination of a taught neckline and a form-fitting body. From here, we can build the base for Fatshion. I've been on record saying that a loose, stretched out neck hole is absolute disaster for the moderately overweight. It gives the appearance that you're a slob, and it evokes a subconscious response from others that can not be overridden by anything else you wear. It is of utmost importance that the necklines of your undershirts be near perfect all the time.

The way the body of the perfect undershirt fits someone can allow the wearer to look 20-30 pounds thinner when compared to a poorly fitting undershirt. A good rule of thumb is to go two sizes lower for your undershirts than for your outer clothing. If you are a 2XL wearer, you should never wear an undershirt larger than a size L. Now, one problem that many overweight people incur when they purchase smaller sized undershirts is that the length is insufficient. The answer to this is incredibly simple--purchase tall undershirts. Every single undershirt I've worn for the past five years of my life has been size large-tall. This allows for ample room to tuck the undershirt in.

When you're wearing a perfectly fitting undershirt, not only will you look slimmer, you'll also avoid a few pitfalls. The largest undershirt pitfall is the classic undershirt showing out of the armholes of a t-shirt.

A few miscellaneous tips can help you along the way. Always tuck your undershirt in. The only place you should ever see your undershirt is at the V of a shirt with a button or crewneck collar. This next one comes as a shocker to most people, so I'll explain in detail, but never wear a colored undershirt. Colored undershirts can look good, but an overwhelming majority of the time, they look cheesy and childish--especially when you're dressing up. The problem with the colored undershirt is simple: if it looks bad (and it looks bad about 80% of the time), then you can look like a complete buffoon. If it looks good, however, it doesn't add anything from a fashion standpoint. Basically, a colored undershirt only has the options of looking as good or worse (better is not an option) than a white one, and any risk you take where you can only break even or lose is a risk that's not worth taking.

Properly fitting undershirts are the least expensive purchases that makes the biggest changes in your look. Aside from giving off the appearance that you're neat and well groomed, properly fitting undershirts can make you look much slimmer and reduce the size and pointiness of any man breasts present. You can never build a great house without first having a solid foundation.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Bagginess: a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

There are a few foundational principles and ideas that set the proverbial table for a proverbially great meal. While this isn't the most foundational principle, its influence is seen in almost every aspect of Fatshion.

Let's face it, fat persons and bagging clothing are as familiar with one another as baked potatoes and cheese, sour cream, butter, bacon bits, and chives. The problem is, as you may have guessed, baggy clothing often does more harm than good. A few things make this the case. Loose shirts and tops almost always cause what is known as the "drapery effect." Baggy pants and jeans are not only out of style, but they set the platform for your entire appearance--if they look big, you look big. Perhaps most importantly though, you're simply not fooling anyone. Regardless of shape or size, everyone looks best in clothes that fit them.

The "drapery effect" is the specific appearance of a shirt when the bottom of the shirt is hovering away from the sides, front, and/or back of a person's thigh area (or higher). In other words, no part (or only a small part) of the shirt is touching the wearer's body below the largest part of the stomach. This, in turn, accentuates both the size of the gut and the size and pointiness of the man breasts. The proper circumference of a shirt is such that when you sit down in the upright position, there is approximately 2-3 inches of extra cloth around the largest part of the midsection. There should be enough fabric that buttons on a button-down shirt should not be pulled or strained. T-shirts should have enough fabric that the indention of the belly button can not be seen.

Baggy pants should be avoided out of general fashion principle because they are out of style. For fat people, baggy pants evoke the presentation of softness and unclean lines, not to mention copious amounts of extra fabric in the crotch area when sitting can evoke the look of a "pants tent." With the current fashion trends, many fat people have difficulty not with the waistline of their jeans, but with the circumference of the thigh when sitting or bending. A taught thighline can be just as detrimental as incredibly baggy pants and should be avoided. A good rule of thumb is to allow 1-2 inches of extra fabric on the circumference of the thigh when sitting. If a clothier has 8 different cuts of jeans (with 1 being the most lean), it's recommended to stick around the equivalent of a 5 or 6 out of the 8.

The most important thing to remember about wearing baggy clothing is that you're simply not fooling anyone. Like someone who pleads the fifth or answers a pervasive question with "no comment," you've already signed your guilty plea in the court of public opinion.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Long, Long Ago...

Long ago a man had an idea. This idea was to create a safe-haven where fat people could learn the folly of their poor dressing ways. The idea was predicated on the belief that behaving and presenting yourself in certain ways dictates success, happiness and public perceptions both good and bad.

This idea, and this idea alone, has lead to the creation of the Fatshion Blog. Here, everyone from the marginally overweight to those who are border line obese can learn secrets of fashion, appearance and perception that have previously been withheld from the general public. Learn to maximize your potential in life by maximizing others' perceptions of you.

Fatshion will cover a variety of topics seeing how the creator of Fatshion believes strongly in the symbiotic relationships of fashion, presentation and culture. It is important to remember that the nature of the content on Fatshion Blog will be helpful and interesting to all shapes of people. Here you will find it all: here you will find your Mecca.