Fatshion Blog

Long ago I had an idea. This idea was to create a safe-haven where fat people could learn the folly of their poor dressing ways. The idea was predicated on the belief that behaving and presenting yourself in certain ways dictates success, happiness and public perceptions both good and bad. This idea, and this idea alone, has lead to the creation of the Fatshion Blog. Learn to maximize your potential in life by maximizing others' perceptions of you.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

An Old Friend Revisited

Well Fatshion world, I am back, if not for a little while. Before my hiatus, I said something concerning the appropriate position for pants that I need to amend. I recommended that pants be worn as high as possible while under the gut. Let me start from scratch.

Everything you do in the name of Fatshion can be for not if your pants aren't worn at the proper height. While truly pear shaped people will find a natural place for their pants to rest above their supple rumps and hips, the majority of us find ourselves in a gray area. With large guts and deflated man-asses, many large men find themselves going "the way of the plumber." I can not say this any more clearly: sagging is kryptonite. Ten times out of ten, you should prefer that your pants be too high than too low. Without much of an ass, this task can be menial, but there are a few guides to helping.

First, ensure that your pants have a proper but clean look. Make sure they are long rise if they need to be, and make sure the thigh area is large enough around without appearing baggy. Second, as a matter of physiology, determine which style of gut you have. If your gut is such that it laps over your waistline when you don't wear a shirt, you absolutely must wear your pants above your gut line. You don't have to go all the way to your belly button, but can not leave your pant line below your gut. If you are pot-bellied, you don't have much of a decision but to wear your pants below your gut. The exception to this is if you constantly look like you're sagging. Put pants on, and don't evaluate the way you look right away. Go to work or go out on the town, and evaluate what your pants look like at the end of the day. Take pictures from different angles, and actually see how you look from the different views. If you look like you're sagging, or if your shirt is puffing out too much because your pants are too low, you need to raise your pants--perhaps all the way to your hips.

I can not emphasize how foundational this is. In my previous post, I neglected to mention the exceptions for different types of guts, and since having posted it, I've been confronted with situations that presented quite a few exceptions. The bottom line is that if you look like you're sagging, or if you're constantly having to readjust your pant line, your pants are entirely too low on your waist.

2 Comments:

At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The pants should _never_ go over the tummy, it looks stupid and puts a nasty crease in your stomach which is pretty much the grossest thing ever. You're damaging your body. And the pressure from wearing your pants like that can also cause abdominal problems and is not recommended by GI doctors. Your body has a natural shape when you're naked, you should keep that shape when you're clothed. You're basically telling bigger people that their tummy in unacceptable and that they need to hide it. Your "fatshion" sense lacks common sense.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger pastorsbride said...

Pastor says hi back. He's still at the same ol' school. And we church at Tulakes.

 

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