Fatshion Blog

Long ago I had an idea. This idea was to create a safe-haven where fat people could learn the folly of their poor dressing ways. The idea was predicated on the belief that behaving and presenting yourself in certain ways dictates success, happiness and public perceptions both good and bad. This idea, and this idea alone, has lead to the creation of the Fatshion Blog. Learn to maximize your potential in life by maximizing others' perceptions of you.

Monday, April 10, 2006

New Slang When You Notice the Stripes

When I speak with random people about Fatshion, most of them assume the crux of Fatshion has to do with vertical and horizontal stripes. While there can be some good foundational advice given with regard to vertical and horizontal stripes, it is really just the tip of the Fatshion iceberg. As such, let's talk about patterns and fabrics.

For starters, the specific types of fabrics you wear can make the difference between looking polished and looking like a Walmart cashier dressing up to go to court. Natural fabrics such as cotton will always breath and look better than their synthetic counterparts such as polyester and nylon, which can lead to less sweating and a higher end look. The most important thing to remember is to wear what works for you. Don't get caught up in how elegant particular fabrics are, because more elegant fabrics like cashmere and silk are absolute nightmares for moderately overweight people. It's important to purchase high quality clothing, but don't equate a high price with a better look for you.

For fat men, there are three types of patterns that should never be worn on a shirt--paisley, repeating theme shirts, or dots. Plaid shirts should only be worn with utmost discretion. I know it sounds incredibly elementary to say these things, but if you look around, you'll start to notice that it happens far more often than you think. As a general rule of thumb, if you can imagine a bedspread being made out of the same material, don't wear it.

Vertically striped shirts are great, but try to avoid incredibly busy stripes. As a general rule, don't purchase or wear striped shirts that have more than 3 colors, and tone on tone stripes can be great. For me personally, I prefer shirts with stripes that are relatively thin and are approximately one inch apart from one another. For medium and darker complected people, don't be afraid of jewel tones--taupes, tans and earth tones are more difficult to pull off, and they must be of a far better quality to actually look polished. For lighter complected people, more subdued versions of the brighter colors won't make you appear as pasty as their more vibrant counterparts.

I think this has probably been the most elementary post, but more people misunderstand this than you'd think. Patterns for pants, shirt/tie combos, and jackets will be tackled in another post.


At 11:20 AM, Blogger rhinoceraces said...

The post is simple you are right about that, but you actually make a very good point about vertical stripe placement and design.

At 9:18 PM, Anonymous tim said...

know your onion, bitch!

At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Bad Dressing Bob said...

do you shop at Gadzooks? what are some fat friendly stores?

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